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Parental Alienation
No child should be made to hate a parent. No child should be placed in the middle of combative parents. It’s just not fair.
When one parent manipulates a child into playing an aggressive, dismissive role towards another parent, that is damaging. Their childhood is stolen. The damage is far-reaching and remarkable. Children naturally love and defend both parents – sometimes to their own detriment. But that is the natural and honest place children live. To enlist a child in an effort to emotionally destroy another parent cannot be defended. Parents do not consciously recognize the long-term injuries they are creating for their kids.
We all have very important deficits. We got them early in life and built upon them unknowingly as we grew. What children internalize in their early years is not fully processed; it is not sitting in the “mature” mind. But it is embedded. It shows up in later life. Or, it can show up in the present in “acting out” children, self-destructive children or even bullying children.
You have your own future to protect too. You have to learn to maintain a productive and supportive anchor for your kids. You do realize that divorce does not mean forever separation from your ex. Families, as they redefine their “new normal,” have to prepare for civilized discussions, occasions, and support in the future.
Do something different – now.