Custody Coaching

If you are a couple about to engage in battle over your children, the faster you sort it out the better. Our sessions are time limited, therapeutic, NOT therapy, and intentionally designed to succeed.
The one ace in my pocket is that I can show you where the meanness comes from and how it will land on your sweet children forever more.

It’s a very dynamic process that I have packaged together given my strong belief in the innocence and goodness of kids – and their parents. I believe that if parents were accountable for their own issues, if they understood them, these expensive, legal/emotional wars would greatly lessen.

My clinical skills have brought me to this new way of stopping the craziness around kids and custody. Somehow, if we can’t find the key to successful marriage we can surely find the key to successful divorces.

We do many things for our children – both good and bad, both consciously and unconsciously.

Sometimes, in the supposed interest of our children, we expose them to immediate and future damage when we engage in vicious custody battles. Rather than dig deep to understand the wisdom of a position regarding their care, we plunge impulsively ahead. We may really be trying to reclaim our dignity destroyed in the failure of our marriage. We imagine ourselves victorious by our settlements. Rather than focus on the truth about our real capabilities, our inadequacies as well as our strengths, we just keep on fighting.

Attorneys despite their adversarial skills do not like these processes anymore than an observer. When it comes to the children, the high road is the only road.

It feels almost like an undertow when divorcing couples are faced with battles over their kids. When people are hurt and demoralized, it’s very tempting to go for the other’s weaknesses, to hit below the belt.
Truth is, that is about the adults, not the children. Your battles with the ex can go on well after the papers are signed because the real issues have not been resolved.

The best place to look for where these sensitivities came from is right under your nose. They came from your own parents and your own childhood. I maintain that epic divorce battles are a way to win over the losses from childhood. Looking back is sometimes a very important exercise.