This is only my opinion:

I haven’t the slightest clue what is best for every one, or you, or me for that matter. However when you consider sex and family –  big problem.

How can a person decide to nourish an innocent child born to them, and at the same time silence their own imperative to be wild and free?

I don’t know. Do you think you do?

Do you just settle? Don’t think so. Those of us developed by the women’s movement, Vietnam, the sexual revolution, do not have “settling” as part of  our vocabulary.

And then there comes baby, sweet baby face, needing ,deserving unconditional love and attention. Who then, me? You? Where should the attention go?

What if you turn 40 and find hot passion for someone, not your promised someone? Suddenly the passion you thought was never there in your gut, is loudly bursting with energy? What? What is that? Who’s speaking please? Now what do you do? Settle?

It’s just not that simple.  Having an affair is not simple. It requires time, secrets, betrayal,  additional burdens of energy. What? What do you do? And

if the one you are lusting for is already spoken for, what about that betrayal? Where is the moral ground? Is it only about pleasure? I don’t think so.

But as I said before—I don’t know.

You tell me.

Its easy to speak  about pleasure and orgasmic responsibility and freedom, but there is another context in which to look at this.

If you are married, and married before you knew your sexual needs and, yes, your own body, what now? There may be a child who needs a parent, and probably two.

Where does that fit in the pleasure paradigm.

You think just having an affair is the answer. Not.

Women who have affairs typically, stereotypes in apology, end up wanting more.  Casual sex, or “just” an affair is not part of our genotype. Men, today, many more men say they don’t want to have sex unless they have an emotional connection also.  I swear, they say that.

So the reality right now is that if you want to follow your Desire, and you have a child, you have other considerations – only in my opinion..

No orgasms will get you through the night if the baby’s face erupts into yourconsciousness just as you’re saying “omygod don’t stop.”

This is serious.

This is not about lust and heat.

This is the real world.

What do you do?

Who do you want to be?