Now that Anthony Weiner has retreated to the Hamptons to heal his wounds, what have we learned?

Perhaps the largest lesson to come from this, at best, fiasco, is that behavior causes consequences. There is an arrogance, or perhaps a mindless amnesia, that easily corrupts the minds of some men.  It is of question, is it not, that these embarrassments do not seem prevalent among women.  It’s not a far cry to suggest that the social conscience inherent in nurturers at large, may account for the discrepancy. I can’t say then that women don’t do these things but that they seem not to get caught. They cover their steps, maybe, they think about the larger picture. Its possible that they consider the effect of such silly pranks on their families and loved ones.

I don’t want to be called sexist but the statistics prove powerful.

In my practice I am aware that today many couples use sexting or video clips to “play” with their partners when they are traveling, etc.  Our soldiers do the same with their mates back home and their partners seem to appreciate it. In my day, and still today , couples practiced “phone sex” to have a good time from a distance.

Any of this behavior when communicating with a stranger and particularly a “non-consensual” stranger and even more remarkably with a minor, is evidence of larger problems. The numbers of men who do these things is way smaller than the numbers of men who participate with scrutiny and control.

If a man is “not thinking,” he is not functioning on an adult, rational level. His reasoning is off and his self control is unavailable. Worse, that this may be the case, the behavior is likely to be bleeding into other areas of his life. Mr. Weiner was passionate, dramatic, a risk taker. He had a lot of enemies.  He was apparently ruled by his reflexes. When you think of it that way, he was not a very good public representative.  Who knows what other decisions he might make when he “wasn’t thinking?”

See, its not, for me the fact of his behavior but the consequences and the meaning of his behavior. Here is a man who just cared about his own need for attention and how to get it.  He is missing the maturity gene.  It’s almost cliche to say that so many men in power are similarly disabled.

It s a shame. At the end of the day, poor Mr. Weiner just looks like a dope. All that talent. What a shame.

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